The Vulnerability of Creativity
I asked a question the other day in my Facebook group (not a member yet? Come join us!):
What do you choose to ignore about your creativity?
As I often find, that question was as much for me as for the other members.
Sitting with the question I realized that what I choose to ignore above all else is my genuine need to sing. Not perform or learn certain songs, but to make sound with my body, to breathe and feel the reverberations throughout my self as a massage for my entire being.
I have largely ignored this need for the past year and a half since my second daughter was born. Excuses abound as to why: everything from time to lack of inspiration to wanting to focus on other aspects to even believing perhaps my creative voice was better suited to different uses. The mind is funny how it comes up with endless rationalizations.
But the deeper truth is - I have ignored it because I'm scared.
Scared that it will be too hard to get the muscles coordinated again. Scared that I'll fall in love with singing again and will unintentionally neglect my family and business. And at the deepest level, scared that I don't have anything to sing that's worth hearing. Fear that I'm not good enough. Still. Fear that I'm not worthy.
I don't share this with you to elicit your sympathy or pity or receive your assurances. I share this with you to say: me too.
If this is you, you're not alone.
There is nothing much more vulnerable than sharing your creative gifts with the world, and any rejection of those gifts, real or perceived, can feel like rejection of your very being, your very soul.
All too often, then, we reject ourselves first. By silencing ourselves and telling ourselves it doesn't matter, we didn't want it anyway, it's not meant to be. In essence, we shame ourselves, and that shame keeps us feeling unworthy but safe from the vulnerability of self-expression.
We must be on to ourselves, though.
Because the very yearning to express is a sign that yes, it is meant to be, if only we will have the courage and faith to take action and move toward our dream, to believe that maybe, just maybe, we are worthy of having something to say.
We must have the courage to be vulnerable, to risk sharing our creative truth.
For, in the words of Brené Brown,
“Vulnerability is the core of shame and fear and our struggle for worthiness, but it appears that it’s also the birthplace of joy, of creativity, of belonging, of love.”
I don't know about you, but a life of joy, creativity, belonging, and love is what I desire, and so I am taking these words to heart myself and am starting to sing again, even if only for a few minutes at a time.
What about you? What have you been ignoring that you now need to courageously claim?
If you need some extra bravery juice, come join us in the Awakened Creator Collective!